A Public Service Announcement with the Joker
by The lovable writer
Summary: One of DC's most beloved characters raises awareness of the many unknown dangers that lurk in todays world the public need to know about. Dark humour ensues.


Billy was like any other boy of 14. He enjoyed sports, he saw school as a burden, but a necessity, for now. But most worryingly, he always wanted to do what the popular kids did. Yes, being popular was all Billy really wanted. As he saw it, with popularity came friends, acceptance, and happiness, which when you lived in a world where Doomsday's return wasn't even covered by the news and courts instituted the sentencing act of "Life in jail or whenever you get out than we'll just forget about it and wait till your next inevitable offense, which ever comes first", happiness was the best you could really expect out of life.

So when conversation was afoot in the playground, Billy was keen to join in:

"So yeah, I got Black-Ops the other day for the XBox, figure we could all come back to my place and pwn some noobs." Alex, the coolest kid of the school said.

"Gee, I don't know Alex, aren't we too young for that game? It's rated M for violent content and persistent bad language and sexuality? I'm sure Jack Thompson wouldn't approve." Billy asked.

"Sounds like the words of a scardy-cat. I bet when the zombie apocalypse came, you hesitated to shoot your parents." Alex sneered.

"I didn't say I wasn't going to. I'm more than up for it." Billy quickly responded, sensing the crowd growing against him.

And that is where our good pal Joker enters the stories Kids. Having been particularly naughty that day with some new born kittens and deteriorating nuclear materials, he was on the run from his old friend Batman, but these little boys and there escapades attracted the Joker too much, the sort of attraction that forces a man to take interest in these children, and come into their lives.

"Hay there Billy boy, I couldn't help but over hear you were planning on doing something illegal." The Joker said.

"Well yeah, but it's nothing too big, after all, the people saying violent video games make the players more violent in turn couldn't possibly be true, right sir."

"Well I suppose you're right. I was a video game fan myself as a child. I remember playing Duke Nukem, couldn't wait for Duke Nukem Forever to come out. Sigh of nostalgia. Brief glint of agonising flashback. Than it never did come. That was One. Bad. Day. But anyway, you take care now!"

And with that the Joker was away, leaving Billy with a lot to think about.

**2 hours later...**

Billy entered into Alex's house sad. Once again his Mother had been randomly resurrected for some contrived and repetitive reason, only to die minutes later when Mr Freeze happened to be robbing a bank near by, proving he was a legitimate threat by his Mother's death and setting his Father back into chromic alcoholism. Maybe Billy needed some escapism. And maybe that video game of Alex's offered that very chance. What was more of an escape from reality than war after all!

However the idea still troubled him. Maybe it was his conscience finally getting the better of him. He'd read of all sorts of unruly types playing these violent video games. Black Mask played Army of Two. Doctor Light played RapeLay. And Bruce Wayne played Arkham Asylum.

Maybe violent video games did corrupt the youth of today, and with it, the prospect for a bright America capable of finally winning its fight against communism.

Than he entered into Alex's room, and observed the bloodshed. Guts pouring out in agony. Alex and other children's looks of ungodly pain. A larynx half yanked from the throat dangled out of the mouth, swaying in the breeze from an open window where one child had thrown themselves, seeing even a cracked open skull a more merciful death from the knife work of the Joker, or worst of all, the knowledge they had played a violent video game not suitable for their age range. Yes, the Joker had entered their room, and figured a joke was in store for little Billy.

"Why Joker! Why did you do this to them? Is it because of the violent video games? Did they really deserve to die because of it!" Billy yelled, bursting into tears.

"No. That's stupid. Why on Earth would I care about the playing of some video games. No! I did this for a much more important reason. You talked to a stranger! You didn't know me! I could have been dangerous for all you know! And for taking that foolish risk of talking to me, I've slaughtered all of your friends and family to teach you a good lesson."

"But my family aren't here?"

"Oh yes, well, there will be a fun surprise for you when you get home. Also I might avoid your school for a few days, your teachers really should have educated better about the danger of strangers young man. Oh, and that cat you say hello to on the way to drama club might not be showing up anytime soon."

And with that Billy was left with a mind full of knowledge, and a bowel recently devoid of content. But all in all, a valuable lesson learnt about strangers from a very wise man, with a very smart plan.

**So remember kids, don't talk to strangers!**

**Next week: The Joker teaches us the important facts about prescription medicine.**


End file.
